On Thursday, Chelsea Premium Outlets opened a $100 million 400,000-square-foot shopping mall in the city of Monroe. And I’m thrilled. The mall is located south of state route 63, less than a mile off interstate 75. Several months ago construction began on state route 63, which reduced the road from two lanes to one. The area is a haven for Semi-trailer trucks because it’s a massive trucking stop. The construction has made turns for trucks especially challenging; sometimes they have to stop, back up, because some dope in the turn lane had crawled too far forward which doesn’t allow room for the truck to swing around into the lane. Not that I’m some bleeding heart truck lover; it creates congestion — and pissed off computer technicians that just wants to get onto the highway.
Additional construction on I-75 removed the need for any exit lane — instead cars exiting 75 South and just turn onto the exit ramp from the slow lane. Along with having only one lane to cross the bridge and onto the road that gets you to the mall, the mall traffic caused cars exiting 75 to cause the entire interstate into a crawl because traffic bleed onto the highway. Exit lanes. Who the fuck needs them?
Then there’s cops, cops, cops. I counted, at least, five. Directing traffic. One of whom stopped a major road with a decent flow of cars — a major thoroughfare for Monroe — allow just two cars (TWO!) to turn onto the mall road. Screw us. We just live here. They’re potential buyers.
I so thrilled.
In truth, it looks like the mall opening was a big success.
More than 300 people stood outside Nike Factory Store, where the first 200 customers received free water bottles and $10 gift cards. Basketball legend Oscar Robertson is scheduled to make a 1 p.m. appearance.
Ultra Diamonds gave a free pearl necklace to their first 100 shoppers, and Banana Republic Factory Store has marked everything 40 percent off through Sunday.
Good for them. Good for the city. Good for everyone, right? The Enquirer did acknowledge the traffic problem.
Traffic to the outlet mall started backed up along northbound Interstate 75 after the Ohio 129 exit in neighboring Liberty Township. At the exit ramp onto Ohio 63 in Monroe, traffic appeared to snarl mostly during the morning rush hour from semi tractor-trailers stacked up to turn westbound onto Ohio 63, not cars headed to the mall. As of 10 a.m., traffic was flowing smoothly off the exit ramp.
Well, as long as it’s only rush hour. After all, I’m sure people are thrilled at waking up earlier in the morning. I’m sure people are thrilled to be late into work. We’re all just thrilled.
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